50 questions about your wedding they’re going to ask over the holidays

50 questions about your wedding they’re going to ask over the holidays

December 13, 2017

Ah, the holidays:  a gathering of family and friends, a celebration, and a time of year to eat, drink and be nosy merry.

If your Facebook status recently moved from “In a relationship” to “Engaged,” it’s going to be the topic that titillates every conversation from the Thanksgiving feast to the New Year’s brunch, and for a good reason—it’s an exciting time for you and for all the people you love! Weddings are some of life’s finest celebrations, and your loved ones are eager to join the party.

Remember that for some relatives, your upcoming nuptials will be the easiest go-to for small talk and polite conversation while other family members are just dying to live vicariously through you (especially if they’re teenagers who long to be a bride one day or older women who love to reminisce about their own special days).

We know that the last thing you want to deal with is a future step-mother-in-law—who may or may not have downed one too many mimosas—grilling you about how she and all of her family members are going to be included in the bridal party and offering her (unsolicited) opinion on having children at the wedding.   And we know that just like the holidays themselves, weddings can bring out the worst in people just as easily as they can bring out the best.  Seemingly innocuous questions can cause galactic-level drama in some families, so only answer what you feel comfortable answering, and when in doubt, follow our tips below.

  1. When’s the wedding?
  2. Where are you having it?
  3. Who are you inviting?
  4. Are you inviting me?
  5. Will children be included?
  6. Are you having a flower girl/ring bearer?
  7. Have you decided on a caterer yet?
  8. What are your colours?
  9. Where are you going on the honeymoon?
  10. Can my (boyfriend/girlfriend/coworker/Aunt Sally) come?
  11. Where are you having your hair done?
  12. What can I pay for?
  13. Are you having a deejay or a live band?
  14. Are you serving alcohol?
  15. Are you having an open bar?
  16. Who is in the bridal party (hinting at being in the bridal party)?
  17. Why are you getting married so soon?
  18. Why have you put it off so far?
  19. Why didn’t you invite (so and so?)
  20. Would you like to borrow my veil (or another item) to wear?
  21. Where are you registered?
  22. Will you be wearing your glasses for your wedding?
  23. How are you wearing your hair?
  24. Why don’t you get married in July instead of August—it’s so much easier for us to come if it’s before school starts?
  25. Did you pick out your engagement ring?
  26. How big is your diamond?
  27. Why don’t you just do what (I/your mother/your sister) did and (insert how they had their wedding here)?
  28. Are you watching your diet so you can fit into your dress?
  29. Can you make sure I sit with (or don’t sit with) Uncle Steve at the reception?
  30. Are you having a singles table at the reception?
  31. Why are you having such an expensive wedding?
  32. Why aren’t you having a destination wedding?
  33. Why are you having a destination wedding?
  34. Why are you doing things so casually?
  35. Would you like me to be your photographer/bake your cake/play the piano/volunteer myself for an important role in your big day?
  36. Will you be inviting your ex/his ex to the wedding?
  37. Why don’t you just go ahead and mend fences with Bill already and invite him to the wedding?
  38. Are you planning to get pregnant as soon as you’re married?
  39. Are you going to keep your maiden name or take his?
  40. Who’s paying for the wedding?
  41. How long have you been together now?
  42. How did he propose?
  43. How does your fiance feel about it (the wedding, the decisions, etc.)?
  44. Are you letting your fiance make any of the decisions?
  45. Why aren’t you getting married in a church/synagogue/mosque?
  46. You know half of all marriages end in divorce, right? (Likely asked by a divorced man or woman)
  47. You’re wearing white? (with a knowing look)
  48. How do your parents feel about your fiance?
  49. Are you sure he/she is the one?
  50. Are you excited?

What’s a bride-to-be to do?

It all depends on how close your wedding date is to the holiday in question—it will be far less challenging to answer questions about a wedding date a year away than it will be for a ceremony taking place in March.

Here are a few other tips to keep in your back pocket—better yet, just keep this link bookmarked on your phone to pull up when the need arises!

  • If you choose to respond to a wedding question, always respond politely and directly

You can be firm and kind at the same time.

  • If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.

This is the truth! You can always say, “You know, thanks for asking, but I’m so tired of talking about wedding plans—tell me what’s new with you.

  • Excuse yourself from difficult situations.

You might be feeling all kinds of feelings yourself at the holidays and just might not want to talk about dresses and caterers, so don’t feel like you have to give the journalistic play-by-play of your wedding plans.  Excuse yourself to use the restroom or get something to drink.

  • When all else fails, go for the surprise factor.

If you’ve got some time between your wedding date and the holiday at hand, simply tell your Aunt Martha that you haven’t finished finalizing the plans or details yet or relate how you’d like to keep some of the details a surprise.

Written by C. Farley for Bridalosophy



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