You have just received a phone call from one of your besties, through the high-pitched over-excited shrieks you just about manage to ascertain that she had just got engaged. You offer your warmest congratulations and tell her how happy you are for her.
Fast forward a few months, and now she’s standing in front of you with an invitation to join the wedding celebrations. But this is no ordinary invitation; you won’t be sitting passively in the pews, you will be taking a central role. Your friend excitedly presents you with a box that holds a bottle of champagne and a flute inscribed with the word “bridesmaid.” This is big; you are going to be part of the bride’s tribe. It’s going to involve a whirlwind of wedding discussions, plans and lots of fun, but it’s also going to involve an element of responsibility. Are you ready for the challenge? Grab your tiara and bouquet; it’s time to take a whistle-stop tour of the ins and out of bridesmaid-ing!
You Have to Dance.
No skulking by the bar for you. If the bride wants to dance, then you will be expected to shake your thing with her. No-one cares if your feet are hurting or if you’re pooped from a long day of celebrating, you are a bridesmaid and dancing comes with the territory. Expect cheesy tunes, a leery old uncle trying his luck and a potential slow dance with the best man. Your bride may also push her bridesmaids into some sort of “organised” dance number. If it involves the splits you are permitted to fake an injury to get out of it - you have to draw the line somewhere!
You Might Have to Wear A Dress That’s Not Quite “You.”
The bride will want her bridesmaids to look and feel great on her big day. She will no doubt have a vision of what she would like you to look like, but ideally, she will take into account your likes and dislikes. However, this is HER big day (not yours), and you have to go with the flow as much as you can, if she loves lilac, but you’re not so keen just resolve to plaster a smile on your face and get on with it. That said we draw the line at Little Bo Peep style puff sleeves and meringue style lace skirts.
If your friend tries to push that look on you, then feel free to have a bridesmaid-diva style hissy fit.
You Have to Be A Great Organiser.
Bridal showers and bachelorette parties, two memorable elements of a wedding. They are eagerly anticipated by all involved and mark the start of the celebrations, but they don’t happen on their own. As a bridesmaid, it’s going to be down to you to come up with a plan for an amazing bachelorette party and execute it well. A relative might step in to sort out the bridal shower, but you will still be expected to support and take a key role in making sure everyone has a fabulous time. Especially the bride-to-be.
You Have to Keep a Cool Head.
Your friend might be the sweetest girl in the world normally but getting married brings a huge sense of occasion that can cause a transformation. Don’t be surprised to see your smiley friend turn into a sobbing wreck or a shouty monster at some point. She’s under pressure and wants her day to be perfect, so the odd bridezilla moment must be overlooked. It’s your job to reassure her and soothe her during any mad moments - you might want to slap her face but hug her instead! Open a bottle of fizz and box of choccies – guaranteed to defuse most situations.
You Have to Multi-Task.
Bridesmaids are expected to help the bride with all manner of wedding-related issues, before and during the big day. From making little favours for the tables, to helping her lift up her dress for a wee (being a bridesmaid is soooo glamourous)! You have to think on your feet, make sure you head off any potential problems at the pass and keep an eye on the details.
You Will Spend Lots of Money.
Even if your bride is picking up the tab for the dress and shoes there are plenty of other little extras you will need to pay for. Beautiful hair and make-up are standard requisites of the bridesmaid role, and your bride might cover the expense of professional assistance, but if not, it might need to come out of your purse. Then there’s a gift for the love-birds, the cost of transport and possibly staying over at or near the venue, not to mention the bachelorette party and oodles of drinks to pay for. Better start saving!
You Will Get Bored of Wedding Chat.
This sounds awful, but there may be the odd occasion when you would like to shove the coveted white and gold “wedding planning” folder right up your friend’s jacksie. You adore the bride-to-be but seriously how long do you need to spend discussing the merits of blue fondant twirls over silver balls – it’s a cake, not an entry for the Sobey Art Award. This is where the bridesmaid smile comes in – make sure you practise it often, you will need to plaster it on your face in an attempt to look interested and convince yourself that constantly talking about weddings is really, really good fun!
But You Will Have Fun.
Don’t be put off about being a bridesmaid, it may require effort, but it’s a huge compliment to be chosen to take on such a special role. See it as an honour and resolve to do the best job you can for your beloved friend. A wedding is a momentous occasion, enjoy every minute, and just think – If you’re not married yourself yet one day the roles may well be reversed, and then, as the bride-to-be, you can get your own back!
Written by E. Challoner-Miles for Bridalosophy
Leave a comment
Comments will be approved before showing up.